cdixon - Latest Comments in Ask people questions

Re: Ask people questions

Sharing When Uncool — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:10:12 -0000

Sir: Agreed--although one arguably has a significantly greater probability of connecting with Bruce Kovner, for example, by discussing his interest in rare books (Caxton the printer) rather than interest rates (Caxton the hedge fund)--

For those not opportunely sitting next to you (or others similarly well established in their respective fields) at dinner, how do you prefer for an interaction with you to be initiated (particularly when the questioner does not yet have the wherewithal to add value to your endeavors, whether professional or personal)? Thanks!

Re: Ask people questions

aweissman — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:55:36 -0000

Yup lifted directly from the Black Swan serendipity concept

Re: Ask people questions

Ryan McKillen — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:41:39 -0000

Re: your #2, I often find myself playing this game. Thinking, "At some point, he/she has to take a breath and ask me a question, right?" Never ceases to amazing.

And the people who really kill me: "I've gotta get going. I feel bad we didn't have a chance to catch up on what you're up to. Next time for sure." But "next time" is never any different—still all about them.

It's a real shame. People miss out on so much!

Re: Ask people questions

ShanaC — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:47:56 -0000

I find out all sorts of useful information this way. (Such as there are still a lot of people out there made nervous by the idea of their cell phone making random calls). I tend to like listening and asking questions. It helps to feel like you have a prepared script.

Oddly, something I find out with myself and others- you tend to talk more when you are nervous. Get a list of things you want to talk about, and ask questions about it- it makes both you and the other person feel good. And it makes you feel less nervous too. It really could be anything. Just ask some questions. Even if it is about something you think could be boring. I'm sure your dinner party partner could turn it into something interesting.

(And you learn stuff along the way)

Re: Ask people questions

chris dixon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:29:22 -0000

Yes, I think it's best to speak just enough to introduce yourself etc but after that you gain more by listening than talking.

Re: Ask people questions

chris dixon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:28:52 -0000

I think Andy Weismann's quote is meant to be very Black Swan.

Re: Ask people questions

chris dixon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:28:20 -0000

I'm often surprised as well.

Re: Ask people questions

Guest — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:49:38 -0000

Very wise words. I met my current CEO this way (questions via encounter at a ski resort), who introduced me to Andy W, who enlightened me with these words as well. Funny the way it all works.

Also goes along these lines..“You cannot plan innovation. You cannot plan invention. All you can do is try very hard to be at the right place and be ready” -Eric Schmidt’s Keynote Speech, Carnegie Mellon Graduation 2009

Re: Ask people questions

needcaffeine — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:00:22 -0000

I find it's always better to listen the most & speak minimally. Unless I'm asked a question I don't tend to speak up. It's always more interesting to hear from others who may/not be the foremost expert on whatever. It's also a great way to weed out the BS'ers.

Re: Ask people questions

reece — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:52:08 -0000

Great point, Chris. So important. My co-founders sometimes roll their eyes when I start to play the "name game" or make small talk about hometowns when meeting people, but once I do make a connection, it proves invaluable in furthering the conversation/relationship.

Re: Ask people questions

Mike Champion — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:47:15 -0000

Very true. This is often a signal when I meet new people about how much I will like them; are they are curious about other people? Always surprising to me how many people don't really do this when meeting new people...

Re: Ask people questions

Anne Johnson — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:32:22 -0000

Cultural tolerance for asking people questions varies .. In the UK it is almost always acceptable to open a conversation with a remark about the weather, current or anticipated. Though an acquaintance once said to me "You'd talk to people on trains !"

Re: Ask people questions

chris dixon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:30:46 -0000

Much better to err on your extreme versus the other.

Re: Ask people questions

Daniel Tunkelang — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:29:15 -0000

I guess I err at the other extreme--I would have looked you up on Google / LinkedIn when you weren't looking and then asked you leading questions. Perhaps there's a happy medium between narcissism and cyber-stalking. :-)

Re: Ask people questions

chris dixon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:28:20 -0000

Absolutely. I'm always surprised when people haven't even done a basic Google search. If you are meeting someone with a startup, it's also nice to learn about it and maybe even try to give some feedback / say something insightful.

Re: Ask people questions

alpritt — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:26:03 -0000

If possible I like to do my homework too. If I know in advance who I'm meeting I'll try to research what they do and what their interests are. It improves the quality of the questions I ask when we subsequently meet.

Re: Ask people questions

Elie Seidman — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:43:21 -0000

asking people questions about themselves gives them the opportunity to talk about their favorite subject...

Re: Ask people questions

chris dixon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 08:19:47 -0000

Agree. I think if you leave, say, a lunch meeting not knowing basics about what the person does for a living, what they did in the past, where they live, a bit about their personal life, where they grew up, what they think is interesting, etc you didn't ask enough questions.

Re: Ask people questions

chris dixon — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 08:17:23 -0000

1) i find talking about myself kind of boring
2) i kept expecting him to ask me what I did and at some point it became kind of interesting to see if he could really fill up 2 hrs talking about himself. besides, at that point I wasn't really in the mood to help the guy out.

Re: Ask people questions

ceonyc — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:55:36 -0000

+1 I'm really disappointed with how little most of my friends know about the people they spend their time with... and also how out of the ordinary people seem to think it is when I ask questions about why they do what they do, how their job works, etc.

Re: Ask people questions

Adrian Bye — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:54:13 -0000

Why didn't you mention you worked in VC?